Little Bug Girl
by 2mindsRhere
Summary: Miserly and anti-social, Kakuzu is perfectly fine being a loner until an eccentric tomboy with weird hair barges into his life and offers him her company. Rated T for a bit of swearing at the end.


Little Bug Girl

**Note: This is an AU fic. Fu and Kakuzu's ages are all modified and do not follow databook stats. Keima is the shogi term for knight. Chomei is the name of Fu's T. Beast. **

It started on a sunny, summer afternoon. It was hot, temperatures averaging about ninety-six degrees with a few topping a hundred and beyond. Heat waves could be seen drifting off the tarmac, ponds that had overflowed during the spring rains were now pathetic looking mudbeds, grass wilted and no amount of water could keep any plant green for longer than a day at best.

A man of about six-foot was glaring through his glass door at a young girl swinging on the branches of an impressive oak. Through the glass he could see the girl had a net, three jars and a bugbox strapped around her hip. He knew this girl, although not personally. She was a neighborhood brat, no older than ten though she could've passed for seven or eight. Shoulder-length, mint-green hair pulled back on the left with an orange clip and lightly tanned skin going almost brown in the harsh sun. This had been the fourth time he found her climbing the tree in his backyard and if it was one thing Kakuzu hated, it was kids.

However, he watched as she nimbly scaled higher into the tree, coming to a rest on a fork between two large branches and picking through the leaves, face set in deep concentration. After a few minutes the girl grinned and pulled her hand back, Kakuzu caught a glimpse of something shiny, before she popped open one of the jars and dropped her prize in. After tapping on the jar, the girl rested her net on the fork before venturing further upward. That was enough for Kakuzu.

"Girl, come down from there, now," Kakuzu said as he slid open the door and glared at the trespasser. The girl visibly jumped and scrambled for a handhold. Kakuzu felt panic rise, if that brat had an accident here costs for damage would set him back quite a bit. Luckily the girl managed to snag a branch and swing herself upward before looking back and huffing at the now irate older man watching her from the ground.

"Why? I'm not doing anything bad, tsu!" the girl replied cheekily, holding her free hand up in mock innocence. Kakuzu furrowed his eyebrows, making his glare even harsher; the girl however glared right back, arms crossed defiantly.

"That's my tree you're climbing on," Kakuzu said, attempting to keep his tone at least polite. However, Kakuzu was not known to be a patient man and loud, defiant, obnoxious brats drove him over the edge more than anything. "You're on my property and you need to leave before I call the police."

"S'not your tree," the girl replied, swinging hands over heels and steadily making her way down to the ground. Kakuzu's jaw twitched but he held his temper, after all she was just a kid who probably couldn't even spell trespass let alone know what it was.

"Yes, that is my tree, that tree is in my backyard which has my house on it which I bought with my own money. That makes it my tree." Kakuzu said with forced patience. The girl landed with a surefooted grace that was impressive before looking at the older man with wide eyes.

Kakuzu looked back at her; she only went to about his hip at best. On closer inspection he could also see that she was covered from head to toe in cuts, scrapes, bruises and had a small bleeding gash on her right cheek. The girl continued to stare unabashedly at the older man's face, looking up and down at her elder the way only children would have the audacity to do. Kakuzu also noted another interesting thing about the girl; her eyes were bright shining orange.

"Hey, Mister are you telling the truth? Is that really your tree?" the girl asked never breaking eye contact.

"Yes, it is and you need to stop coming here and climbing all over it." Kakuzu retorted.

"Did you grow that tree all by yourself?" the girl continued, scratching the back of her head. Kakuzu shook his head.

"Do you like that tree?" the girl asked. Kakuzu inwardly sighed, his patience being pushed to the limit with this inquisitive little nuisance. He had forms to fill out, taxes to file, a meeting with Hidan in two hours and not only that but it was seriously hot and the shade of the oak tree did little to deter the heat.

"Girl-" he began but she cut him off.

"My name's Fu," she said sticking her hand out to him in an enthusiastic and cheerful manner. Kakuzu looked at the small hand currently at level with his belly button, before taking it and shaking it once.

"I really like your tree, mister," Fu continued, "You have the best kabutomushi in the entire city!" Kakuzu blinked, that would explain the bugbox and net. The girl brought out her jar and popped the top before sticking her hand in and pulling out a rather large, shiny black and brown beetle with an impressive horn jutting out from it anterior. The insect twitched but did not move, seemingly content on its new perch.

"I went to a whole bunch of other trees even the forest! But I couldn't find any as big as these," Fu explained, gently nudging her arthropod friend back into the jar. Kakuzu honestly could have cared less about his intruder's eccentric interests, however the girl seemed to have taken an interest in Kakuzu and like most children with an interest, pressed on to learn anything and everything about it.

"Mister do you like kabutomushi?"

"No," Kakuzu replied, half hoping that would drive the kid away. Unfortunately that made the kid even more dead set on finding out what Kakuzu did like. After inquiring if flowers, sweets and animals (particularly ones with six legs) garnered Kakuzu's attention (all of which he answered in the negative) the kid sighed and shrugged her shoulders before asking, "What do you like?"

"Money," Kakuzu answered unhesitatingly, before mentally slapping himself. He was playing Twenty Questions with a snot-nosed, bug-hunter in the middle of a hundred degree heatwave in his own backyard. "And, little girls not climbing on my property," he added. Fu seemed to have ignored that last part because her eyes lit up when he mentioned money.

"Oh, money! Yeah, adults seem to really like that stuff. Hey, mister how come you like money? Is it 'cause you're an adult?" Fu rocked back on her heels waiting for the older man to elaborate.

Kakuzu, now exasperated more than anything, looked at the girl for a moment before telling her what he had told Hidan years ago when they became business partners, "Money is the only thing you can rely on, kid." Fu looked at him with widened eyes but stayed silent, wordlessly prompting the older man to go on.

"You are too young to understand this but when you get out into the real world money is the only thing that people will care about. People bite the hands that feed, friends betray friends, people you thought were close drift away and abandon you but money will always be there."

Fu stood there in silence before quietly asking him, "Did your friends betray you?" Kakuzu merely answered the question with a cold stare. Fu seemed to have gotten the message and looked down at her feet.

"But," the girl began, "you still have friends right? I mean not the same ones, but you have them, right?" Kakuzu blinked, before replying, "I have acquaintances."

Fu shook her head, "But they're not your friends, right? They just do boring adult stuff with you 'cause they have to. Those aren't friends." Kakuzu rubbed his temples with his fingers, hairs-breadth away from completely losing his patience.

"Okay kid, that's enough," Kakuzu said, walking toward his back gate and undoing the latch, "You got your bugs now leave before I call the cops." Fu gave the older man a slightly hurt look before gathering her insect hunting gear and walking as slowly as possible toward the exit. Kakuzu watched as the girl made her sluggish trek toward the exit, tapping his fingers on his crossed arms.

Right before crossing to the other side of the gate, Fu suddenly swiveled to face Kakuzu again this time holding up a plastic, green bug box containing a smaller kabutomushi beetle sitting amidst leaves and twigs. "Here," the girl said thrusting it toward the older man staring at him with an enthusiastic fire in her eyes.

"I don't want it," Kakuzu said, pushing the box back toward the girl. She shook her head and pushed the box back towards him.

"Everyone should have friends," the girl said. "If you don't have any than me and…and Chomei here, we'll be your friends! And we won't betray you not even if someone paid us all the money in the world!" Fu shouted the last part, eyes now resembling glowing coals, face resolutely set in childish determination.

Kakuzu shook his head, patience now completely gone, and leaned down to come to eye level with the girl. "Listen, brat," he nearly snarled, "I don't want friends, I don't need friends and most of all I don't need little brats like you trespassing on my property and bothering me with whatever happens to come across in that tiny little brain of yours. So, I'm going to say this one more time; get off my property and don't come back or I will call the police."

The girl froze, a stunned look on her face. Kakuzu couldn't have been more effective if he had slapped her. Without another word, Kakuzu slammed the gate and bolted the hatch before turning and walking back toward the house.

"You liar!" was what came over the gate. Kakuzu paused. The girl sounded like she was fighting back tears. "You're lying! I saw it! Even Chomei saw it! You want friends! You're lonely, you just can't make any 'cause you don't want to get hurt again…" The voice sniffed but continued, "You think I'm a stupid kid, but I know what you're talking about. My mom and dad abandoned me! All the kids, the ones who were supposed to be my friends, beat me up. One threw a rock at me!" and though he couldn't see it he imagined Fu rubbing the bloody gash on the side of her face. "You may be an adult but even adults need friends! You...you… big, fat lying jerkface!"

Kakuzu stood at the back door, hand on the handle. All was silent until he heard the girl break out into hitched sobbing. With that, Kakuzu walked in, shut the door and flipped the lock.

x.X.x

"Yo jackass, what took you so fucking long?" a man with slicked, back silver hair and red-violet eyes greeted from the coffee machine. Kakuzu grunted and moved toward the man, desperate for a caffeine fix before work began to pick up.

"Nothing, just a minor problem," Kakuzu replied, savoring the scent of freshly made coffee. Not bothering to tell Hidan about the kid.

"Tch, what, you missing fifty cents from your- OH SHIT!" Hidan yelped as a large blob came barreling in from the window and landing with a hearty splash into Hidan's coffee mug. Disgusted Hidan grabbed a paper towel, trying to clean up the mess while fishing through his coffee mug in hopes of finding the offensive projectile. Kakuzu watched all of this with detached amusement, idly sipping his coffee.

"Oh, Jashin, fucking disgusting bastards. That's the third one today, dammit. Those fuckers better get the AC fucking fixed so we can close all these goddamned windows. Maybe these little bastards would stop flying in then."

Kakuzu looked up from his mug to see Hidan holding a large black kabutomushi beetle. Kakuzu paused, thinking back to when he left for work. He was backing the car out of his driveway until something shiny near the back gate caught his eye. Breathing a sigh of irritation he killed the engine and walked over to the gate, knowing full well what it was. The plastic green bug box was sitting under a makeshift canopy of twigs, rocks and leaves. Inside was the kabutomushi the girl had caught on his tree and on the lid was a yellow sticky note, smeared in dirt with barely legible child's writing.

'_Dear Mister…you never told me your name. You need to fix your fence, you got a big hole under a part of it. I didn't want Keima and Chomei to fight so I'm leaving Keima with you. He eats rotten fruit and tree bark with that sticky, yellow stuff on it. I promise you he won't do anything bad, just talk to him every once in awhile and he'll be good. PS: I'm sorry about your friends. _

"Jashin, these things are disgusting," Hidan spat placing the bug on the counter and retracting his arm which was currently carrying a rather large, thick hardback book. Kakuzu made a move toward the beetle, swiping it off the counter before Hidan could bring the book down.

"What the actual fuck, Kakuzu?" Hidan yelled as Kakuzu eyed the beetle now making a slow crawl from his hand to his elbow. Taking it in his hand he walked toward the window and threw it, watching as the beetle beat its wings to keep its massive girth airborne. After the bug was out of sight Kakuzu shut the window and turned to Hidan who was looking at his partner as if he had grown a second head.

Kakuzu ignored him and walked out of the breakroom cup of coffee in one hand and his thoughts on the last line on the sticky note the girl had left on the box:

_PSS: I'm still mad at you but Chomei says that it's not good to stay mad at people. If it makes you feel any better, I'm still your friend and me and Chomei swear that we'll be your friends no matter what._

**A/N: After a while I get bored of writing and reading the same things and step out of my comfort zone. Lately I've been sticking solely to Pokemon and NARUTO and the stories for those categories have become a bit limited… **

**This is a crack pairing fic and depending on my inspiration and amount of time I have, may continue like Toxic and Roost, as a series of one-shots/short stories. I find canon characters in non-canon interaction to be my favorite kinds of fics. **

**All characters copyright to Masashi Kishimoto (owner of the NARUTO series) and any resemblances to people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. **


End file.
